In which I ignore my inner critic

Words Today: 1,788
Total Words: 13,788

Ok, I try hard to keep my self-loathing about the story to a minimum (yes, I really do! I think about 50 times more worse things than I mention, or repeat...) I try to minimize it because I think the more I tell myself I hate what I'm writing, the more I actually hate what I am writing. But... I will never believe this first draft will be anything other than a shitty first draft. Of course I want it to be perfect prose off the bat. But that's not the nature of NaNo, it really isn't. The problem is... that's the nature of ME. And I do NaNo every year, hating my cliched tripe, because I need to get out of perfectionist mode.

I'm very proud of myself. Not for what I've put down (not yet, anyway) but for keeping up my pace, and getting in writing time that actually goes towards finishing this thing. I don't know why I'm not so good at doing this without NaNo, but there it is. I view NaNo as anti-perfectionism training. If I can slog through the self-doubt this year, and make the word count, then I think just pushing forward with stuff the rest of the year will get that much easier. Between the snowflake method and anti-perfectionism training, maybe I'll eventually get the story I want out of me.