In which I struggle to make it over the habit hump
Ok, here I am again. Pushing through the... pain? I guess it's like exercise, where you have to keep doing it even when you want to stop and then after a while you get into the groove. At least I hope so, 'cause I'm not in the groove yet. I'm still very resistant and uneasy about this. Still think it's all junk. Glad to know someone's enjoying it anyway. I still have mixed feelings about knowing people are reading this (hi people!) because on the one hand, I'm writing to an audience anyway, so it's nice to actually have one, but on the other, well, they're reading this...
I'm going to segue breifly because I have to get this out of my mind. Watching the debate tonight felt like I was watching Kirk and Odo have at each other. Ok, I really needed to pass that image on, in the "Punch with care" style. Thank you for being there to receive it. That'll be my only political comment for the night.
How do I write this? Let me count the ways.... I write this with my inner critic yelling at me... I write this with half my brain engaged for fear the other half will stop me if I let it... and there's more on that theme, but with only half my brain engaged, I can't come up with it.
Don't stop, don't stop... If I stop, I start to think about it. I'm trying to write straight from my subconscious (or mid-conscious?) brain to the page. If I stop, my active brain gets active, and I start to really question what I'm doing. Who the hell do I think I am, writing this crap out in public, that sort of thing.
Oh, I counted my words for the past few posts. Looks like I can do about 600-700 words in these 15 minute stints. So if I go to half an hour, that's 1200-1400 words / day. Just slightly under the necessary amount for NaNo... If I do two half hours a day like I plan, well, I should have no problem. As long as I just keep typing that is. If I stop, well... I just won't stop, that's all! If only it were that easy, but then, maybe it is only that easy. We'll see. So I may try next week to up this to twice a day. Can you stand it?? But if I can do that, then I just need to up the time for next month.
No plot or character development to report, unfortunately. It's on back-burner to simmer, though. I don't expect any major breakthroughs until after next week, when I've managed to catch those deadlines whizzing by me. I don't see being able to do much other than the blog before that's all in where it belongs. But I think I need to finish up a list of characters. Should I keep track of them here? Or offline? Help me decide! Anyway, I'll probably end up talking about the major folk out here at some point when I have time to do more than just survive.... That's the toughie for me at the moment.
One problem with the before bed idea is when I go late, like tonight, I have to fight to prevent this from not only being hard to understand, but hard for me to read! My eyes go all blurry, and I stare at the page for a long time....
I'm going to segue breifly because I have to get this out of my mind. Watching the debate tonight felt like I was watching Kirk and Odo have at each other. Ok, I really needed to pass that image on, in the "Punch with care" style. Thank you for being there to receive it. That'll be my only political comment for the night.
How do I write this? Let me count the ways.... I write this with my inner critic yelling at me... I write this with half my brain engaged for fear the other half will stop me if I let it... and there's more on that theme, but with only half my brain engaged, I can't come up with it.
Don't stop, don't stop... If I stop, I start to think about it. I'm trying to write straight from my subconscious (or mid-conscious?) brain to the page. If I stop, my active brain gets active, and I start to really question what I'm doing. Who the hell do I think I am, writing this crap out in public, that sort of thing.
Oh, I counted my words for the past few posts. Looks like I can do about 600-700 words in these 15 minute stints. So if I go to half an hour, that's 1200-1400 words / day. Just slightly under the necessary amount for NaNo... If I do two half hours a day like I plan, well, I should have no problem. As long as I just keep typing that is. If I stop, well... I just won't stop, that's all! If only it were that easy, but then, maybe it is only that easy. We'll see. So I may try next week to up this to twice a day. Can you stand it?? But if I can do that, then I just need to up the time for next month.
No plot or character development to report, unfortunately. It's on back-burner to simmer, though. I don't expect any major breakthroughs until after next week, when I've managed to catch those deadlines whizzing by me. I don't see being able to do much other than the blog before that's all in where it belongs. But I think I need to finish up a list of characters. Should I keep track of them here? Or offline? Help me decide! Anyway, I'll probably end up talking about the major folk out here at some point when I have time to do more than just survive.... That's the toughie for me at the moment.
One problem with the before bed idea is when I go late, like tonight, I have to fight to prevent this from not only being hard to understand, but hard for me to read! My eyes go all blurry, and I stare at the page for a long time....
posted by BlogShy | 9:13 PM
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